A Rhode Island man was attempting to break the blood alcohol content record previously set by an Oregon woman last January (.72), but came up short, ringing in at .491.
State Police arrested a man early Tuesday whose blood alcohol level allegedly was .491 — more than six times the legal limit — which they believe is the highest ever recorded in Rhode Island for someone who wasn’t dead.
The legal limit in Rhode Island is .08. A blood alcohol of .3 is classified as “stupor,” .4 is “comatose” and .5 is considered fatal, according to the health department.
I’m guessing this comatose guy had himself a couple of Mad Drivers, then was going to head up to Canada for some french fries and gravy. Almost made it.
On a side note, he only managed to come in 3rd in the all-time DUI BAC Competition. Some other Oregonian chick blew a .55 back in November ‘07.
When someone tells you not to touch the gun, usually it’s a good idea to listen. Especially if it’s your first time handling one. If you don’t listen, chances are you’ll be taught a lesson. Today’s lesson might scare the shit out of you…
Man, this kid really wanted to go to the goddamn movie! Mom decided she was going to get tricky by filming the kid cussing so dad could put the boots to the kid when he got home. What mother didn’t know is that she’d catch a great nut punch on film. Sorry, cable guy!
In a bid to move out of third place in the AL East, the enterprising New York Yankees reached an agreement with slugger Richie Sexson. The move is easily justified when you consider that NY will pay Sexson a pro-rated share of the league minimum salary, $390,000, leaving the Mariners to cover the remainder of his $14 million contract. Although Sexson isn’t really a slugger, more of a guesser, Yankee management is looking for him to fill part of the void left by injuries to Hideki Matsui and Johnny Damon.
The good news for the Yankees, and Sexson, is that they plan to only hit him against left handed pitching. It might be the last chance for Sexson to raise his value by becoming a permanent platooner.
Sexson hit .344 with five home runs in 71 at-bats against lefties this year. That was his bright spot during a season in which the 33-year-old Sexson hit .218 overall with 11 homers and 30 RBIs.
I personally don’t see how this will help the Yankees. If anything, it’s going to hurt Giambi’s playing time against left handed pitchers. I’d rather have Giambi (with mustache) versus a lefty than Richie Sexson versus anybody. Of course, Giambi is on my fantasy team, and I’m from Seattle, so I’m a little biased.
We linked to this yesterday, but it is so good that I had to post it again. Amazing things can be done with super glue. It’s always handy to have a little around the house.
Part of the Guinness family, along with Guinness and Harp, Smithwick’s (pronounced “Smith-icks”, “Smitticks” or “Smiddicks” — the ‘w’ is silent) is a delicious, imported Irish Red Ale with a distinctive amber hue when held against light. Although Smithwick’s is not as popular as Guinness on the world stage, it’s considered a local favorite back in Ireland.
The second most enjoyable thing about Smithwick’s, after the kick-ass goodness it delivers when it hits your palate, is the story behind the beer.
Smithwick’s was originally brewed in St. Francis Abbey Brewery in Kilkenny, known as ‘Smithwicks Brewery’ until c.2000. The brewery is situated on the site of a Franciscan abbey where monks had brewed ale since the 14th century, and has ruins of the original abbey on its grounds. It is Ireland’s oldest operating brewery, founded by John Smithwick in 1710 on land owned by the Duke of Ormonde. It is the major ale producer in Ireland.
I was in Boston a couple of weeks ago and everywhere I went there was Smithwick’s on tap. So, everywhere I went I had one. The great thing about Smithwick’s, especially when compared to Guinness, is that it’s a little bit lighter than a Guinness and not nearly as creamy. To me, cream = full gut/slowed down drinking, which is never a good thing. I could easily drink 10 of these at a steady pace and not pass my top button threshold. I’d probably get a little shit-faced though. These babys are sitting comfortably at 5.0% ABV. I recommend you try some of ol’ Ireland.
If you live in Seattle, or follow baseball at all, you know that signing Richie Sexson to a 4-year, $50 million contract was just one of many bad decisions by Mariners’ management. Honorable mentions include: a) signing Carlos Silva to a 4-year, $48 million dollar contract, b) replacing Jose Guillen with Brad Wilkerson (of the Strikeout Hall of Fame — the other member is Richie Sexson), who, by the way, is now a Toronto Blue Jay, and c) paying Jose Vidro to DH. Well hallelujah, Mariners! Yesterday, you did the right thing by releasing Richie Sexson. Sure, you’re going to eat at least $6 million this year on him regardless of what you do with him, but at least you can get some young talent some at-bats, or, I don’t know, try to win.
Considering the nearly monumental struggles of Sexson over the past three seasons, I ventured out to talk to some people close to Sexson to try and gain some insight as to how Richie is going to react to the news of his release. I was amazed at what I learned.
During an interview with local optomitrist Dr. Richard Gentry, he mentioned that he’d, “talked to [Richie Sexson] several times over the last three years during his regular, and emergency, appointments about lasik eye surgery, or at the very least, wearing contract lenses. Every time I’d suggest it he’d dismiss me with a wave of his hand, like he was shooing a dog away. ” When we asked Dr. Gentry the reasoning behind Richie’s refusal to improve his vision, he responded, “That stupid sonofabitch told me he enjoyed going up to the plate guessing on each pitch. And that he was still basking in the glory of pulling the wool over the owners’ eyes, getting them to sign him to a huge, albeit undeserved, contract. ‘It was the HGH,’ [Richie] told me.”
That’s right! Tomorrow, for the celebration of 7-Eleven’s 81st birthday, 7-Eleven will be giving out free Slurpees from 7am to 11pm (while supplies last). They’re also being cute and giving the free Slurpees away in 7.11 oz birthday cups, which is where the supply factor comes in. Makes sense that they give them away on 7/11, huh?
Apparently LenDale White hates Tecmo Bowl. Now that is about the most bullshit I’ve heard in a long time. He says, “I didn’t play in the ’50s, the Tecmo Bowl days,’’ which is a crock of shit.
If I was playing Ice Climbers in 1985, and I was 4 years-old, then I imagine even if he didn’t get a chance to play Tecmo Bowl, LenDale White (future NFL running back) at least played someTecmo Super Bowl back in the early 90s. I mean, he was 7 years-old when it came out, and at least one of his friends had to have a Nintendo, right?
I realize when he said it he was probably just giving his new running backs coach, Earnest Byner, a little shit, but Tecmo Bowl trash talking isn’t something to be thrown around lightly. Just ask the guy who learned 46 Life Lessons from Tecmo Super Bowl. A few favorites include:
5. Greed is good. Feel free to run Christian Okoye until the Nigerian government criticizes you for your wanton lack of consideration for his health.
14. In the eyes of the Tecmo Super Bowl gods there is no race, creed or ethnicity; except for Bo Jackson, who is a really fast black guy.
24. Never substitute. God chooses starting lineups for a reason.
Obviously there are only two outcomes for this type of video; either the guy is going to get hurt, or he’s going to do something really cool. I tend to bet on the guy getting hurt. I was right on this one, but I never could have guessed how it was going to happen…
I’ve seen plenty of bottle rocket dumbasses in my time, but this is the first numbnuts I’ve seen who actually sticks the thing in his asshole. Serious? Everyone else I’ve seen do the bottle rocket in the ass trick usually sticks it in his ass crack, not the actual anus. Oh well, his pain is our gain…
I recently got back from a trip back east with my dad and we had the chance to walk around old Boston for a day. We did the patriotic thing and walked the Freedom Trail, visiting several prominent historic sites in the birth place of the Revolution. Notable stops on the trail include Faneuil Hall, Paul Revere’s house, the Old North Church (one if by land, two if by sea), the USS Constitution, and the Bunker Hill Monument. It was amazing, and if you ever get the chance, I suggest you take the walk. You’ll gain a great appreciation for the patriots to whom we owe our independence.
Feeling the need to refresh my patriotism on Independence Day, I just finished watching episode 2 of John Adams on HBO, entitled “Independence.” If you haven’t yet watched the series, today would be a great day to start. Personally, I haven’t seen all 7 episodes, but 1 and 2 are fantastic.
It’s amazing to me to see how our country was founded; men wearing wigs sitting around in what’s now called Independence Hall in Philadelphia, rabble-rousing and banging walking sticks on the floor, with several hear hear’s thrown about.
One of my favorite things paraded around in John Adams are the “Don’t Tread on Me” and “Join, or Die” flags. “Don’t Tread on Me” (also known as the Gadsden Flag) strikes a special note for me as it’s one of Charlie’s prominent sayings in “Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody’s Asses” from the great show, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which, by the way, starts up again with Season 4 on September 18th.
